In-coming??

Most likely not. But it's good to have a distraction even if its a minor one.

Went for volleyball on Monday and met Liyen&Steph's 'mcg'. I thought it stands for 'Mc G' like..'Mc Dreamy' from Grey's Anatomy, you know? But apparently it means 'Macho Cute Guy' who apparently was quite lansi.

Well, I was just asking Nick bout it and voila, he was at the door signing in too. ok. So Hi hi etc. Talked a bit. Went in and started playing. Since ive never been and don't remember the names of most of the players, I picked him to be in my team.

Went for drinks after volleyball. Seems like a nice guy. I dont know. Maybe cos I don't normally go out and yum cha let alone with a bunch of people I hardly know. And it's just awkward 'flirting' around or being 'liu' by people. I'm just..not used to it.

Anyways, I just thought he's nice and it didnt hit me till yesterday night when Nick called me. I thought something was coming up but I didnt expect it to be from him (mcg). Well, he(mcg) asked for my number from Nick which..is a first. And yea..I mean, no big deal if it's just friends right? But I am really not accustomed to such..privileges? or..attention? And I doubt there's much but if there's anything, I don't think it'll go far cos he's younger AND not my type.

I know I shouldn't judge and read into things too much but, I guess I always tend to avoid things which I can foresee? Hence me being such a snob.

Anyway, I know it's nothing and this shouldn't even matter to me. But, I just want to say that, it does feels nice..you know..to be flattered sometimes. I mean..I am sincerely flattered even if he's just being friendly. And it just gives me a feeling that I havent had in a long while, it makes me feel I can be special.

Shouldn't that be how you feel when you're in love? But I feel so deeply depreciated that..I dont feel like I'm anyone to him. Sometimes (which is a lot of times) I wonder, does he still feel the goosebumps and jitterbugs when he thinks of me? Do I still make his day? Sadly, I suppose I know the answer which is no. Cos 5 days out of the week when I do get a hold of him, he'd tell me 'please don't ruin my day'..'why must you make things difficult for me'..'why must you kill my mood'..'please don't add on to the burden'..all these which only mean I have already ruined whatever good feelings he has.

I know I shouldn't think that it's my fault. But, I really do wish and pray sometimes that he'd make me feel..happy..and special again. Even better if it's everyday of our lives. But..isn't that what a love relationship should be?

Anyway, I do want to thank god for this good distraction. It does make me feel like I have a worth after all.