"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.." - 1 Corinthians 13:13
I am 200% certain that God wants me to continue working on him, to continue praying and pressing on for him though he rejects every effort I have to bless him and what God wants for him. I am very sure that God wants me to lead him to Him and He wants me in his life, to be His bridge to him. And I am very certain that God's will is for me to fight for him. It is no longer my heart and my desire that I want to be with him and continue praying for more goodness and love in his life but it is also God's. This, I am really certain.
Right now, I honestly don't know how it's going to come to pass because I obviously need more time to continue God's work in him. I need more time to be able to change him through my own actions and words. And the only way I can get more time, is by having him to be sure that we can work things out, him to be sure that he loves and really wants me in his life, him to decide on his own that he's ready for commitment, with me. And for that to happen, he has to willingly bring me along with him on New Year's eve to meet his friends, people whose opinions and thoughts really matter to him, people whom he has dreaded to introduce me to for fear of questioning should we do not work out. And right now, I really don't see how it's going to happen considering he just threw a big one at me again and insisted that I do not call or sms him, again.
Yes, we are back to square one where he feels so defensive and insecure towards me, where the sight or sound of me just sends his heart's gates shut so tightly he could just end up with a shrinking heart the size of a mosquito's. I've done it again where I really don't see how he can not only open up to me completely and unpretentiously but within a very limited time say, 2 days?
Lord, I know I have been anxious, about him, about this and I have been praying like how the rain pours from the sky. I have come so far to know that this IS your will and I am at the right place. But I continue to fail to find the right words to speak to him, do the right things at the right time. And now I'm back to where we were at our last strand to total destruction. It took us nearly 2 months to make things work like how they were and I was so happy. But now, it all plummets into this deep well, so deep that I don't know where the bottom is.
Lord, I know I have asked so much of you, and I will continue to seek your face. And I know should I win this battle, "it was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring victory; It was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face, for you loved them." - Psalm 44:3
I know the only way it is possible for me to do your will, though I do not see how it can happen, is through YOU. For "with God all things are possible" - Matthew 19:26
So here I am, still faithfully asking for wisdom to make this happen. But I know the only way that I can receive what I want from you Lord who gives generously to all without finding fault, is "to believe and not doubt when I ask because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind..he is double minded and unstable in all he does." - James 1:4-8
Now, I have to really practise what I preach which is to have faith and not doubt the Lord who has never failed. I have to be "sure of what I hope for and certain of what I do not see." - Hebrews 11:1
And I will have faith and not worry because I know Lord, you are on my side. I have seen it, I have seen it happening just that I don't know how. But I have seen it. And I will continue to trust in you.
Thank you Lord for reassuring me when I trip and fall like a clumsy baby struggling to find her feet and grounding. Thank you for the strength which belongs to you. I will give you all glory for it is you who will make this come to pass.
Thank you for the peace and joy in my heart for you never fail to cheer me up. Thank you.
Love you.
Amen.
Showing posts with label god's will. Show all posts
Showing posts with label god's will. Show all posts
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I'm becoming a mother
I've just got a child, today. Yes, it's his too. Of course right, who else would it be?
So say Hello to my little friend, Sleepy!
heehe, aint he adorable? ^^ I was really surprised when I saw him today. awwwww..so cute. =) We actually saw it at MV when we went for a movie. Well, more like he saw it when we were walking around. And he started making funny noises like 'so cute!'..'so cute!'..heehe, and kept pressing it in public and pretending his voice was the generated penguin voice. I actually thought of buying it for him but can't break the 'I won't buy you things without asking' code so didn't. Anyway, it has been a great two days. I mean, he has done more things that he hasn't been in a long while and of course, though they didn't last that long, it is enough to mean something.
Start from yesterday, he actually sms'ed me to cheer me up, saying he loves me which really surprised me because I really didn't expect him to. And then when he got home at night, we had a chat and he continued to reassure me. Even though he said he still needs more time to be sure but I have a really good feeling that he is not going to let me down. =) Well, not just me but my friends too.
Even though he didn't end up calling me this morning like he said he would, he did drop by around 5.30pm to cheer me up cos I was obviously upset with him blowing me off the whole day while he was at work. And after he tried 'tumming' me, out popped Sleepy! heehe, He got them right after work before he came to look for me. How sweet. I haven't got any gift from him in a very long while. =) He's been really nice. Really good to me and he's really starting to make me feel.. safe and special again. He hardly got mad at me anymore (except over the phone when I bug him too much). And lately, he's been making plans with me, spending more time with me which makes me really happy. =)
I know this isn't much and it's not like it's the whole day everyday but..I want to believe, slowly day after day, God is changing and renewing him, restoring him and us to be more than who we used to be.
I just want to thank God for everything he has done so far. I talked to my pastor on Sunday and first time have I confided in someone from this church and I'm really glad I have. Turns out our pastor himself was just like him, a non believer and was so against going to church. He told me he scolded his wife's friends before and made her cry for talking to him about Christianity. It's really good that I know someone who has really turned around so well for God. I don't expect him to be a pastor but at least a believer. Regardless I will continue to press on and pray. It really struck me when he said, 'it's either you love him or God loves him more than you do.' What he meant was, it's either I love him so much to want to go through all this for him or God loves him so much and sent me to go through all this for him. I just never thought that God would love him so much to do so too. I have always thought it has been me and that God is just answering my prayers. But it can be God's will too, and that He loves him so so much to send me to bless him because only I would want to go through all this for him. No matter what, I'm glad God has chosen me..and him. I just love him so.
"I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me." - Psalm 13:5-6
Thank you Lord.
*counting down to THE day: 9 more days
So say Hello to my little friend, Sleepy!
heehe, aint he adorable? ^^ I was really surprised when I saw him today. awwwww..so cute. =) We actually saw it at MV when we went for a movie. Well, more like he saw it when we were walking around. And he started making funny noises like 'so cute!'..'so cute!'..heehe, and kept pressing it in public and pretending his voice was the generated penguin voice. I actually thought of buying it for him but can't break the 'I won't buy you things without asking' code so didn't. Anyway, it has been a great two days. I mean, he has done more things that he hasn't been in a long while and of course, though they didn't last that long, it is enough to mean something.
Start from yesterday, he actually sms'ed me to cheer me up, saying he loves me which really surprised me because I really didn't expect him to. And then when he got home at night, we had a chat and he continued to reassure me. Even though he said he still needs more time to be sure but I have a really good feeling that he is not going to let me down. =) Well, not just me but my friends too.
Even though he didn't end up calling me this morning like he said he would, he did drop by around 5.30pm to cheer me up cos I was obviously upset with him blowing me off the whole day while he was at work. And after he tried 'tumming' me, out popped Sleepy! heehe, He got them right after work before he came to look for me. How sweet. I haven't got any gift from him in a very long while. =) He's been really nice. Really good to me and he's really starting to make me feel.. safe and special again. He hardly got mad at me anymore (except over the phone when I bug him too much). And lately, he's been making plans with me, spending more time with me which makes me really happy. =)
I know this isn't much and it's not like it's the whole day everyday but..I want to believe, slowly day after day, God is changing and renewing him, restoring him and us to be more than who we used to be.
I just want to thank God for everything he has done so far. I talked to my pastor on Sunday and first time have I confided in someone from this church and I'm really glad I have. Turns out our pastor himself was just like him, a non believer and was so against going to church. He told me he scolded his wife's friends before and made her cry for talking to him about Christianity. It's really good that I know someone who has really turned around so well for God. I don't expect him to be a pastor but at least a believer. Regardless I will continue to press on and pray. It really struck me when he said, 'it's either you love him or God loves him more than you do.' What he meant was, it's either I love him so much to want to go through all this for him or God loves him so much and sent me to go through all this for him. I just never thought that God would love him so much to do so too. I have always thought it has been me and that God is just answering my prayers. But it can be God's will too, and that He loves him so so much to send me to bless him because only I would want to go through all this for him. No matter what, I'm glad God has chosen me..and him. I just love him so.
"I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me." - Psalm 13:5-6
Thank you Lord.
*counting down to THE day: 9 more days
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Work in progress
Monday. *sigh* Guess I'm having the Monday blues. Well, I of all people shouldn't be whining cos it's not like it affects me much when I'm unemployed. TNEEEKKK!!WRONG!!
Starting from..now..I have a job. Which doesn't require full and daily attention. Just days when I have to go into my mom's shop to check if things are ok. Well, that's like 3-4 days a week and each trip probably takes 2 hours? I know I know. My hours added up probably equal to your 1 day of full time work. It's not so bad but considering the duties she has set aside for me, it is pretty scary and burdening. I can't imagine how she can work like that for the past 18 years.
Anyway, yesterday was A.W.E.S.O.M.E =) Thank you Lord for making it wonderful still. I thought it'd have turned out sour or just not happening but it did! and I'm truly glad and grateful. I got sidetracked and made some snide comments toward the end of the day and got bitchslapped. Started to whine and complain which I really shouldn't have if I could get hold of myself in the first place because it really did chink the chain.
Regardless, I did engage the 'Talk about us' mode and I think I should stay out of that option from now on. Yea, he's right. It is sickening to keep putting our relationship on a 2nd gear when you're already speeding at 4th gear. So from now on, I really have to learn to control myself, and my emotions for they're so weak. =( BooHoo. Sigh. I really don't want to lose him. We've come so far. I mean, even though we're only officially working it out since less than a week ago, but I've been meeting him and talking to him for more than a month. and everyday, E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y does not come easy AT ALL!! It's like, I always need God to go through it all with me, every single day. I am so weak. So So weak. And I'm so ashamed of myself because even when He is with me, I still hold on to Him like a helpless baby who refused to grow.
God has given me signs and confirmations when I asked for them. He has answered my prayers when I was in desperation. He knows my pain SO WELL that He knows exactly what to do to give me peace and to calm me down. And yet I still struggle everyday as if I doubt his greatness. I really don't mean to but I do. So from now on, I really have to work it out myself. I know I should still commit everything to Him, my fears, my desires, my heartaches. I do and I will continue to. But I suppose now is the time I help Him to help myself, learn to rejoice and trust in Him. Think of it as me holding His hand and walking side by side with Him as oppose to making Him carry me and taking my full weight. No matter what I do or try, I will do this through Him who has strengthen me.
"Surely this is our God; we trusted in Him, and He saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in Him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation." - Isaiah 25:9
I love him so so much and even though sometimes I don't see how this can work out or why I should even bother for he does not deserve it, I do want to continue trusting the Lord that this is His will. Its not about doing this for myself or for him or for old time sake, but for Him who has confirmed that this is what He wants me to do. And to do it the way He wants to, which is with confidence and faith.
I need to truly grasp "the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want." - Psalm 23:1. Because it is when I really do live this verse that I have faith in Him to do all things.
"..Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you..The lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?..Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." - Hebrews 13:5-8
I need to "understand and know Him, that he is the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth for in these He delights." - Jeremiah 9:24
So yea..confidence man. Confidence. Which I need to work on.
Alrighty, better get going and get some work done!
Thank you Lord for everything, good, wonderful and bad. Thank you.
Amen.
Starting from..now..I have a job. Which doesn't require full and daily attention. Just days when I have to go into my mom's shop to check if things are ok. Well, that's like 3-4 days a week and each trip probably takes 2 hours? I know I know. My hours added up probably equal to your 1 day of full time work. It's not so bad but considering the duties she has set aside for me, it is pretty scary and burdening. I can't imagine how she can work like that for the past 18 years.
Anyway, yesterday was A.W.E.S.O.M.E =) Thank you Lord for making it wonderful still. I thought it'd have turned out sour or just not happening but it did! and I'm truly glad and grateful. I got sidetracked and made some snide comments toward the end of the day and got bitchslapped. Started to whine and complain which I really shouldn't have if I could get hold of myself in the first place because it really did chink the chain.
Regardless, I did engage the 'Talk about us' mode and I think I should stay out of that option from now on. Yea, he's right. It is sickening to keep putting our relationship on a 2nd gear when you're already speeding at 4th gear. So from now on, I really have to learn to control myself, and my emotions for they're so weak. =( BooHoo. Sigh. I really don't want to lose him. We've come so far. I mean, even though we're only officially working it out since less than a week ago, but I've been meeting him and talking to him for more than a month. and everyday, E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y does not come easy AT ALL!! It's like, I always need God to go through it all with me, every single day. I am so weak. So So weak. And I'm so ashamed of myself because even when He is with me, I still hold on to Him like a helpless baby who refused to grow.
God has given me signs and confirmations when I asked for them. He has answered my prayers when I was in desperation. He knows my pain SO WELL that He knows exactly what to do to give me peace and to calm me down. And yet I still struggle everyday as if I doubt his greatness. I really don't mean to but I do. So from now on, I really have to work it out myself. I know I should still commit everything to Him, my fears, my desires, my heartaches. I do and I will continue to. But I suppose now is the time I help Him to help myself, learn to rejoice and trust in Him. Think of it as me holding His hand and walking side by side with Him as oppose to making Him carry me and taking my full weight. No matter what I do or try, I will do this through Him who has strengthen me.
"Surely this is our God; we trusted in Him, and He saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in Him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation." - Isaiah 25:9
I love him so so much and even though sometimes I don't see how this can work out or why I should even bother for he does not deserve it, I do want to continue trusting the Lord that this is His will. Its not about doing this for myself or for him or for old time sake, but for Him who has confirmed that this is what He wants me to do. And to do it the way He wants to, which is with confidence and faith.
I need to truly grasp "the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want." - Psalm 23:1. Because it is when I really do live this verse that I have faith in Him to do all things.
"..Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you..The lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?..Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." - Hebrews 13:5-8
I need to "understand and know Him, that he is the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth for in these He delights." - Jeremiah 9:24
So yea..confidence man. Confidence. Which I need to work on.
Alrighty, better get going and get some work done!
Thank you Lord for everything, good, wonderful and bad. Thank you.
Amen.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Endurance Race
I keep having to remind myself, to have faith, to continue praying and believing, to persevere until my prayers are answered.
I know having to do this means I have little faith because if I really do have faith and trust, I'll be able to stand still and won't bug him as much as I always do. I just can't help feeling like he's slipping off my hands again and I have to grasp harder and stronger so I won't lose him yet again. I feel so helpless and insecure everytime I have this feeling, as if I'm sinking alone. I am so afraid that he'll leave me in vain after seeing my weaknesses but I just can't help showing them to him.
All I have been doing is crying out to the Lord. "Save me! Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.'You of little faith,' he said,' why did you doubt?'"- Matthew 14:30-31. Everytime I do so, it reminds me that Jesus does reach out his hand to hold me fast.
I really want to praise God for reassuring me everyday. It's funny because my emotions are like a roller coaster ride everyday. I can be feeling high one moment and the next, absolutely down low. And this happens E V E R Y D A Y. Sometimes I wonder, how long can I keep doing this? How long can I last before I literally drive myself nuts and be locked away in an asylum? Of course I really wish I have a happy ending. But right now, all I can do is keep hoping and praying,hanging on by the thread.
Today's sermon again helped me feel better like how He never fail to. It says "Running to finish well". Simple and beautiful. But it seems so hard to do.
I am comforted by the fact that I am actually half way through the race. I ran away from my problems and regrets before and have now turned to face my fears and the obstacles in front of me. I have also turned to God and cried out to him for help for only He can bring me home, to a safe pasture. All I need to do and keep doing is be patient and endure. At the same time, knowing that there is no turning back or turning away.
"..Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." - Hebrews 12:1-3
This is among others a confirmation by God to keep holding on to the man I love and see to it the day my prayers are answered will come. I just need to remember to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to me...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:33-34
I just pray that God will heal the wounds inside me, fill up the holes in my heart and spirit so I don't feel so empty and insecure anymore. Then I do not need to seek him to make me feel complete but instead I can love him more and more each day and be his pillar of support that brings him closer to God. I want to be stronger for him, so that when God works his ways to build us again, we cannot be shaken.
"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. Press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:13-14.
Thank you Lord, as always.
Amen.
I know having to do this means I have little faith because if I really do have faith and trust, I'll be able to stand still and won't bug him as much as I always do. I just can't help feeling like he's slipping off my hands again and I have to grasp harder and stronger so I won't lose him yet again. I feel so helpless and insecure everytime I have this feeling, as if I'm sinking alone. I am so afraid that he'll leave me in vain after seeing my weaknesses but I just can't help showing them to him.
All I have been doing is crying out to the Lord. "Save me! Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.'You of little faith,' he said,' why did you doubt?'"- Matthew 14:30-31. Everytime I do so, it reminds me that Jesus does reach out his hand to hold me fast.
I really want to praise God for reassuring me everyday. It's funny because my emotions are like a roller coaster ride everyday. I can be feeling high one moment and the next, absolutely down low. And this happens E V E R Y D A Y. Sometimes I wonder, how long can I keep doing this? How long can I last before I literally drive myself nuts and be locked away in an asylum? Of course I really wish I have a happy ending. But right now, all I can do is keep hoping and praying,hanging on by the thread.
Today's sermon again helped me feel better like how He never fail to. It says "Running to finish well". Simple and beautiful. But it seems so hard to do.
I am comforted by the fact that I am actually half way through the race. I ran away from my problems and regrets before and have now turned to face my fears and the obstacles in front of me. I have also turned to God and cried out to him for help for only He can bring me home, to a safe pasture. All I need to do and keep doing is be patient and endure. At the same time, knowing that there is no turning back or turning away.
"..Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." - Hebrews 12:1-3
This is among others a confirmation by God to keep holding on to the man I love and see to it the day my prayers are answered will come. I just need to remember to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to me...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:33-34
I just pray that God will heal the wounds inside me, fill up the holes in my heart and spirit so I don't feel so empty and insecure anymore. Then I do not need to seek him to make me feel complete but instead I can love him more and more each day and be his pillar of support that brings him closer to God. I want to be stronger for him, so that when God works his ways to build us again, we cannot be shaken.
"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. Press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:13-14.
Thank you Lord, as always.
Amen.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Give thanks
he showed up last night. Despite being really late and he was really tired etc. =) I'm really glad.
My parents haven't seen him for sooo long and Joyce couldnt take her eyes off him while he ate. So funny. But I'm glad that he's still ok with them. Still joking around etc. And we ended up talking till 12+. Poor boy. But really praise the Lord that he got the 'promotion'. Though it is not what he wanted, it is a step forward and something different to what he was doing initially.
I know and am comforted that this is God's sign and God's will. So from now on, I shall have no doubts. "So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God" - Ephesians 3:17-19
I know that more good things will come and soon he'll be able to meet God face to face and get to know his grace and love. I really can't wait for the day to come. Until then, I'll keep believing and praying and singing songs of praise. I just wish I can be stronger in Christ and that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13
"The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." - Lamentations 3:25
Thank God!
Amen!
My parents haven't seen him for sooo long and Joyce couldnt take her eyes off him while he ate. So funny. But I'm glad that he's still ok with them. Still joking around etc. And we ended up talking till 12+. Poor boy. But really praise the Lord that he got the 'promotion'. Though it is not what he wanted, it is a step forward and something different to what he was doing initially.
I know and am comforted that this is God's sign and God's will. So from now on, I shall have no doubts. "So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God" - Ephesians 3:17-19
I know that more good things will come and soon he'll be able to meet God face to face and get to know his grace and love. I really can't wait for the day to come. Until then, I'll keep believing and praying and singing songs of praise. I just wish I can be stronger in Christ and that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13
"The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." - Lamentations 3:25
Thank God!
Amen!
He loves me, he loves me not
Many a times, we ask God for directions, signs or guidance. Most of the time, we feel it in our hearts, through the holy spirit. Or we hear from God through sudden wisdom in our minds. I'm not a very good listener, and I feel that I have always failed to hear God clearly. Normally, I end up doing what my gut tells me, what I feel like, because I'd like to believe that God leads me through my emotions. This is only so because I am an impatient and impulsive girl who ignores the consequences of her actions and does whatever it takes to meet her heart's content. If God made me so then I'm sure when I let Him be in charged of my emotions, He'll guide me.
Well, even so, I still need to be really really sure that it is God's will for things in my life. So I always make deals with God (more like testing Him) but if I don't do this, how will I ever know? I've always wanted someone who's spiritually strong to tell me something random which answers my prayer but that never happens. So back to the old " Ask and you will be given" - Matthew 7:7 approach.
I did it when I asked God if I should come back to KL. I gave Him a deadline until I was really really sure that it is what I want. And so here I am.
Now, I'm doing it again. Well, it's not the first time I'm asking for wisdom in this issue but, I'd like this to be a confirmation from God. I know if you set your heart on something, you shouldn't listen to other people and just follow your heart. But I really want to hear from God and get His green light. I've resolved to this because I think I'm blinded by love and most likely not able to listen to Him even if He tells me. So here it is, a straight yes/no answer from God through someone else's actions. And I'm still waiting.
If he's worthy in God's eyes and his intentions are pure as the truth he claims, then God will set his heart to make it tonight regardless of the odds he is facing. If he does turn up no matter how late it is and how short the stay is or how untruthful he has been just to make things easier, as long as he shows up, I will set my heart and know that this is God's answer. Then I will always have peace knowing that we will always work out.
Otherwise, let excuses cloud his mind and tempt him to take the easier way out for he is not worthy of this love.
As easy and simple.
I'm not testing God or him, I'm simply asking to hear God's will through his actions and not his words or my feelings. I rather be doing God's will than doing something that is not His plan for me. "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us" - Romans 5:5
And I have hope in the Lord. No matter what the outcome is, I will always praise Him. =)
Amen.
Well, even so, I still need to be really really sure that it is God's will for things in my life. So I always make deals with God (more like testing Him) but if I don't do this, how will I ever know? I've always wanted someone who's spiritually strong to tell me something random which answers my prayer but that never happens. So back to the old " Ask and you will be given" - Matthew 7:7 approach.
I did it when I asked God if I should come back to KL. I gave Him a deadline until I was really really sure that it is what I want. And so here I am.
Now, I'm doing it again. Well, it's not the first time I'm asking for wisdom in this issue but, I'd like this to be a confirmation from God. I know if you set your heart on something, you shouldn't listen to other people and just follow your heart. But I really want to hear from God and get His green light. I've resolved to this because I think I'm blinded by love and most likely not able to listen to Him even if He tells me. So here it is, a straight yes/no answer from God through someone else's actions. And I'm still waiting.
If he's worthy in God's eyes and his intentions are pure as the truth he claims, then God will set his heart to make it tonight regardless of the odds he is facing. If he does turn up no matter how late it is and how short the stay is or how untruthful he has been just to make things easier, as long as he shows up, I will set my heart and know that this is God's answer. Then I will always have peace knowing that we will always work out.
Otherwise, let excuses cloud his mind and tempt him to take the easier way out for he is not worthy of this love.
As easy and simple.
I'm not testing God or him, I'm simply asking to hear God's will through his actions and not his words or my feelings. I rather be doing God's will than doing something that is not His plan for me. "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us" - Romans 5:5
And I have hope in the Lord. No matter what the outcome is, I will always praise Him. =)
Amen.
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