A New Beginning, Again

Its 9.14pm, and I'm still in bed, with my pajamas on.

It's Sunday, but it doesn't feel like one. It feels just like any other day. Guess it doesn't matter to me because everyday can be a Sunday, or a Monday..or Tuesday. Same old same old when you're unemployed and bumming full time.

After a short struggle to grasp for air or life or whatever I can, I'm just like a dead man, finally quiet down and stop living.

I won't be surprised if my brain has officially started eating itself and my body is slowly decomposing. O wells, guess it doesn't really matter.


Isn't it ironic? When you've picked yourself up and hoping to strive and fly once again, you just fall flat to the ground, hurting more than ever.

I should really freak out right now because my life is in a mess and I'm heading for Doomsville. But I suppose it's my Second time around so..it's no biggy really. Though I hate to be here and be doing this again.


*sigh..where do I begin?

I'm so far from what I want to be, what I want to achieve. I guess I could go back self pitying myself and just admit that I'm a loser or be ignorant and continue trying and trying and trying.

Life is what you make of it. It can be happy, glorious, or just plain tragic. Depends on how you play it. Right now, I'm going for the 'it's all for LOVE or nothing' theme. After fighting with the whole world and myself, I can't fight no more. Now, I'm just waiting for them to find me, the truth and my future and see where it'll bring me.

I'm lost, once again, and right now, I'm just rooting myself to the ground, waiting for the people around me to pick me up, again.